For over 35 years I’ve beat myself up about being a procrastinator, what I call “The Great Procrastination”. This seemed an appropriate first post since my procrastination is about writing. When I was 16 years old, I decided I wanted to be a writer. It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and my mother and I were lying on her bed chatting – I remember it clearly since those moments didn’t happen often. Shortly after, we went to the movie Romancing the Stone, a movie about a writer that sold me on my dream.
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If there’s something you just can’t seem to get done or keep putting off, you’re not alone and maybe there’s a reason for it. For several years I wanted to take life coach training to book-end the journey I began when I was 18 years old to become a better person. The program’s pre-screening asked questions about major life events that could sabotage my commitment. I had lots, divorce, moving homes, changing jobs, cancer, four surgeries in four years, and I was getting re-married. All these major events and so many before them were my first clue that there was more to my writing procrastination.
In 2020, the Covid lock-down was the opportunity I was waiting for and completed my Erickson Solution-Focused Coach Certificate. An important lesson I learnt is we all have the tools we need to do whatever we want; we just need a map to get there. We all have different routes on the map – that’s where life coaching and sharing experiences come in.
This post was first written in 2014 and when I went back to it after my life coach training I had a new perspective. Many of the “tactics” I was beating myself up over were actually part of the map getting me to where I am now. It would have been nice if I moved a bit quicker, but I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Keep reading to find out my procrastination tactics and how with a simple perspective switch I’ve turned the “glass half empty” to “half full” and am able to finally move forward.
i don’t know enough
Ever feel like you need to know more because you don’t have enough information to be confident to do “it”. That was me, so I read everything I could get my hands on related to writing, I even joined the Writer’s Digest Book Club. It was like Christmas when I got my free books. But something was still missing. All that reading was a great foundation…and I still turn to them.
i’m not qualified
Being young, uneducated, and inexperienced, I didn’t feel like anyone would take me seriously so I decided to get an education. My first writing course was in 1987 by correspondence (doing the course by snail mail) and required lots of discipline. That was my freelance writer boot-camp.
having fun trumps all!
At the time of that first course, I was living with my girlfriends. It didn’t take much coercing from them to get me to drop my studies to play cards or party when they came knocking at my bedroom door. I ended up cancelling that course disappointed with how undisciplined I was. Reflecting back, I got the “party” out of me, and was ready to go to college.
i don’t have the right tools
In 1988 I moved back home and went to Algonquin College for journalism in my hometown Ottawa, Ontario. I lasted a semester! In that time there was an election, and we analyzed the newspaper election coverage. Not liking what I saw I dropped out -that was one reason anyway. My class was the first to have personal computers making the writing process so easy compared to writing long hand or using a typewriter.
Getting a computer was my new goal and in 1994 I finally got one. It cost me close to $4,000 and all I got was a floppy disk and Windows…you had to type in “Win” on the Dos screen to prompt the program. Six months later I bought and installed a CD Rom, soundcard, extra memory, and a fax/modem to get the internet. That was five computers ago and taught me the ropes on working with hardware and software.
i need a specialty
For 15 years I continued getting “qualified” taking writing courses and workshops and in 2004 I found my calling, Technical Writing. Although this certificate was post-graduate, my professor endorsed my skills and I was accepted into the program at Fanshawe College in London, Ontario. After seven years I graduated with honours with a lesser certificate because the college couldn’t find anyone to teach the two software courses. Still, having honours gave me the confidence to begin searching for work. What I quickly realized was that technical writers typically write about specialized items like medicine or computers.
I was anything BUT specialized. My bookcases and filing cabinets were full of books, magazines, and brochures on health, self-improvement, finance, career, DIY, art, travel, and reference. Committing to more school was impossible. I was exhausted having done this while raising a family, running a household, working full time, doing volunteer work, moving cities, and taking work courses. That training has come in useful in most of my positions and prepared me for how I want to write but at the time that’s not what I did…
…i gave up!
There are so many times I’ve tried to give up on my writing dream. One time I even had all my writing books and courses ready for the garbage. I couldn’t do it, so put everything back, committed to finding a way, and never gave up again.
tell everyone to embarrass yourself into doing it
What if I embarrassed myself into it? If I told everyone about my goal, I would be compelled to do something about it, right? The problem with this was there was no action because I spent all my time talking and dreaming. The feedback was great, and it felt good knowing how supported I was, but I was no closer to my goal and moved to the next tactic.
the opposite of above, don’t tell anyone
So, I stopped talking about writing and made some headway when I began writing a column called “Words of Wisdom” for a London magazine interviewing senior women. Unfortunately, not long after the magazine stopped publication. In this tactic I figured I would surprise the world with my great accomplishments by not telling anyone, but I sabotaged myself.
who do i think i am?
What great accomplishments could I possibly share with the world? As a child I was raised to believe I could do anything I put my mind to. My parents were generous with their praise making me egotistical. Then, at 13 years old, my life turned upside down when my father died suddenly.
He was replaced by a man who thrived criticizing people. He snuffed the “high and mighty” out of me. Although he was many things I didn’t want to become, I love and respect what he was trying to do for us kids in all the wrong ways. He impacted my life by instilling drive and the art of wearing people down, just like the character Sheldon, from the Young Sheldon series. But the biggest impacts? Since I didn’t like how us kids were treated, this lay the foundation to become a better parent, and wanting to help others.
Mr. Holland’s Opus
For much of my life I’ve felt like Mr. Holland in the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus, who always wanted to compose a symphony. Like him, life always seems to get in the way for me: cooking, cleaning, laundry, home maintenance, raising a family and working. The lesson? There will always be other things to do, that’s life! So now I schedule in the time.
it wasn’t meant to be
A few times I thought it wasn’t meant to be – if I really wanted to write wouldn’t I be doing it? Just like in the above section, prioritizing writing time, even if it’s a very short period, is better than nothing. It’s taken years and here I am.
gremlins
Fears have played a role in my procrastination. In my life coach training, we called these fears “gremlins” or negative scenarios our mind creates holding us back.
This tactic has worked alongside all the other tactics, and I’ve finally learnt how to beat it – embrace them! I’ve feared succeeding, I’ve feared not succeeding, I’ve feared people laughing at me, and I’ve feared my past coming back to haunt me. There are things we may want to hide or pretend didn’t happen and I’m here to let you know it’s all those things that make you the person you are today. I’m owning it all; embracing and learning from the good and the bad.
research “Procrastination” tactic
As someone whose entire reading collection is mostly self-help it’s surprising it took till 2019 for me to pick up a few books on procrastination, then another couple years to actually read them:
- 101 BEST WAYS to Overcome Procrastination NOW!
- The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Overcoming Procrastination
These books offer lots of valuable tips on procrastination and were like reading a checklist of things I’ve tried. What they reinforced is what’s working for me now…
…the best time to commit
When is the best time to commit? The beginning of the school year? Your birthday? New Years was my favourite; if I messed that up I had a second chance with the Chinese New Year. Is there really a best time? Yes, NOW! There will always be a reason to put something off so as the Nike slogan goes “Just Do It.”
procrastination or perseverance?
Thomas Edison tested the light bulb thousands of times before getting it to work, that’s perseverance!
Even with all my procrastination tactics I’ve managed to write just as many emails, projects, assignments, notes, articles, policies, stories, and even a few columns. Those were my light bulb tests so now I’m committed and keep a writing schedule. That’s what’s working for me.
Can you relate to any of the tactics I’ve used? There are those and loads of others, but there are also major life events that may be holding you back: money, stress, support, timing, health, and the list goes on. If you’re stuck, maybe you shouldn’t be hard on yourself. Are you working things out? Do you have a major event going on that’s more important right now?
No matter what you’ve tried and what you’re going through this could also be part of your “light bulb” testing. Ready to drop the procrastinator persona and become someone who is persevering? Committed but not sure how to move forward? Watch for my motivation post giving some insight and tools on how I get motivated.
In the meantime here’s a small exercise to help get you on your way to turning your procrastination into perseverance. Read the steps through and then write down your answers:
Step 1: make of list of all the ways you’ve tried to make that “something” you’ve wanted to do happen.
Step 2: reflect and find what you learnt by all the items in Step 1. There’s always a lesson, good or bad.
Step 3: twist all those lessons in Step 2 around so that you only find the good in each however small it may be. This may seem hard, especially for the negative ones but often the answer is as simple as choosing the opposite of what didn’t work. For example, the lesson for being too tired at night to exercise may be realizing exercising in the morning is a better option. There is more to come in the motivation post but for now the point of this step is to get you looking at the bright side. Positivity gives you energy while negativity steals it leaving you exhausted and tapped.
If anything is holding you back I hope you’ll practice those steps. Let me know what’s working, or not working for you. I look forward to hearing from you and please share, like and follow me on social media.
Cheers,
Vickie Girolami
April 24, 2023
#middleagedteen #lifecoach #procrastinate #procrastination #perseverance #writer #writersblock #writerlife #writerproblems
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